I feel extremely overwhelmed and even more so overlooked. It seems that although I put everybody’s needs before mine, I’m always put completely last after everyone else. It is honestly starting to drain on me. There’s so much pressure on me from absolutely every side imaginable and no one seems to care. I’m behind on absolutely everything and anything in my life right now, but does that matter to anybody? No, of course not. As long as they’ve got theirs, why should anything else matter right? I seriously can’t wait to get the hell out of this fucking city. But God knows when the fuck that will be. I’m seriously so stuck its not even funny… and the more that I think about it, the more depressed and sad I’m getting… I’m not fucking happy anymore. It’s so obvious that even a complete stranger can see it, and yet my so called “best friends”, my apparent “family” can’t even see it. I’m always the one who’s put together, who can fake the brightest smile even in the darkest of times… barely anyone sees me when I’m breaking. Maybe that’s my fault. Maybe I need to open up more… maybe I need to let people see me when I’m not okay… But then again, maybe not. Seems to be that any time I’ve ever let anyone see my vulnerability they mistake it for weakness and use it against me or to their advantage… ugh. I hate this. I just want things to go as planned for once instead of absolutely anything and everything fucking up along the way. I hate being so god damned miserable… I need help. I seriously don’t know what to do anymore.